LiveLearnLove
by Evil-Angel-911
Summary: Follow the love life of Lily Evans. The good, the bad, the ugly, the normal, and the extraordinary! Chapter 10 now up! READ AND REVIEW!
1. Never

You could never say I had an abundant amount of friends nor say my peers disliked me. You could never say I was ugly nor was I your typical super model type. You could never say I was dumb nor say I was Merlin himself. You could never say I would play for the national quidditch team nor say I am too uncoordinated to put on my shoes. You could never say I am bubbly or a depressed person. You could never say my life was perfect nor say my life was torture….

You could say I am average, that my life was average… but you would be wrong.

My name is Lily Evans and I'm an average girl who turned out to be not as average as I appeared.

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Hey all. This is just a nice mini story based off some stuff I'm going through in my love life and things I had to deal with. I needed a nice writers block story so that I can get cracking on Lily's Curse. I wrote 3 chapters in one go… working on the 4th now. I just died my hair red so suddenly I can really relate to Lily. I hope you enjoy this journey since it is very much my own as much as it is Lily's.

Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. As much as I wish I did, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters from the series.


	2. Steamin' Dreamin'

I pulled away to catch my breath. He kissed his way down my neck encouraging my scattered breathing. I leaned into him, throwing my neck back to allow him more access, closing my eyes in enjoyment. As he suckled the sensitive portion of my neck he knew so well, I sighed quietly. "Amos," I whispered urging him to continue. As he moved further down, chills took over my body. I shivered with pleasure? Wait…no... that's not right… I'm cold.

My eyes popped open to see Bella smirking above me. "Morning sleepy head."

"Uh! Don't you know a person having a nice, steamy dream when you see one?" I asked curling up in attempt to contain some body heat.

"I may not be able to see one but I can defiantly hear one. I'm sorry Lily but not only is it time for you to wake up but if I heard you moan Amos's name one more time, I would have lost my mind," she said walking away, clutching my blankets. "Now get up before you make both of us late."

"Since when have you cared about tardiness Bella?" I asked placing my bare feet tenderly on the frozen floor.

"Since you stopped caring," She said plopping down on her own bed, already dressed for classes. "You may have passed your O.W.L.s with flying colors but don't forget, N.E.W.T.s are next year."

I shook my head. "You don't have to remind me you know. Once I do get my bum out of bed, I study like a maniac. You know that."

She shrugged in a non-committal way. "So another Amos escapade last night huh?"

I shot her a dirty look as I pulled on my uniform skirt. "Don't start."

"That's the third one this week isn't it?"

"Bella, I'm warning you. I don't want to talk about this right now."

"And why not?" She said leaning forward, throwing her brunette hair casually over her shoulder.

"Because I'm tired and your trying to take advantage of my tendency to embarrass myself when I'm fatigued," I said tightening my tie in the mirror.

"And if I am?" She said brightly, slinging her bag over her shoulder, leaning elegantly upon the doorframe. "You do know it's been over a year now don't you."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes Bella. I know it's been over a year since my three-month relationship with Amos. I know already." I pulled my hair back a little tighter and examined myself in the mirror. I sighed heavily and cocked my head to the side. Shrugging at my reflection, I shouldered my bag and followed Arabella out the door.

As we wound our way down the spiral staircase, I tried to avoid her eyes. Truth is that it was taking me far too long to get over Amos Diggory. I was a lowly 5th year when his god like 7th year self asked me to Hogsmeade. I had never had a boyfriend like him before. He was mature, sweet, caring, and loyal. He didn't pressure me or push me yet made me feel desirable and sexy. In three months, he made me feel more alive than I had in three years. He ended it. If asked, I say we ended it because that is how he tried to do it. He let me down easy and I appreciated that, but it didn't stop me crying for days. After we broke up mid way through the year. I searched desperately for someway to feel that same passion and emotion. The only thing that could compare was the pride of a good grade or the rush of an infamous Evans/Potter argument. I had a fling over the summer but it only resulted in decreasing my self confidence but I returned to school a little better, less desperate to feel that burning passion. Maybe I still needed that passion though, even if only in my dreams.

As we moved into the warmth of the commonroom, the fire burning hot in the hearth, I spotted Frank standing by the stairs of the girl's dorms. He grabbed my arm with a shy smile. "Do you know if Alice is coming down anytime soon? At this rate, we won't be able to get breakfast before Herbology."

I smiled warmly back. "I'm sure she'll be down soon lover boy." I patted him on the shoulder as I passed.

My shoulders dropped a little lower. He loved her. She loved him. Alice and Frank I mean. Everyone knew it too. We all knew they would be married as soon as they graduated. I cast a look over my shoulder as I heard Alice's feet rush down the stairs. I saw her leap into his arms as he kissed her deeply without reserve. I turned away… but not before Bella could notice. She grabbed my hand. " Sorry about this morning," she whispered. I nodded silently. I knew she meant well but I couldn't help but think that I wished someone other than my best friend wanted to hold my hand to breakfast. Little did I know that he was sitting in the great hall eating already.

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I hope you all enjoyed reading that like I enjoyed reading it. Later on, I'll get hot and heavy with details… hence the rating. Amos is based off an ex boyfriend named Steve. I was 16, he was 19, and I was crazy about him. We broke off on good terms because he was going back to college 5 hours away and I was stuck in high school. I don't talk to Steve anymore but you'll come to see why after 2 years, he is still a present thought in my mind through Lily's parallel experiences.

Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. As much as I wish I did, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters from the series.


	3. Hypothetical Valentines Day

By February the dreams had stopped. Bella explained that she had made a deal with the devil so as to not to hear the moaning at all hours anymore. Since she said this very loudly at the lunch table one day, I blushed furiously into my ham sandwich. I woke reluctantly on Valentines Day. I had this sneaking feeling that today was going to be horrible. Bella would be no help since Anthony Harper, her most recent crush, had invited her to Hogsmeade.

So I figured out how the day was going to go and I recorded it so as to prove how right I was.

I shall wake up to discover an owl will have delivered flowers to Bella and at least 2 of my other 3 roommates. My bedside table however, will be void of heart boxes of chocolates or roses.

The teachers will all theme their classes except Professor Johnson because love and defense against the dark arts don't exactly mix where he's concerned. And all these themed classes will encourage these sickening couples to stare endlessly, achingly, and disgustingly into each other's eyes.

The marauders will play a clever prank at lunch, which will victimize the Slytherins and reflect the failure of the prefects. We will get yelled at during the meeting tomorrow by Frank and Robin (Head Boy and Girl) for not being able to control the riot while Potter smirks in the seat next to me.

Since it's a half-day, the 3rd year and above couples will retreat to Hogsmeade for long walks in the fresh snow and cuddle in madam puddifoots. I, however, will be sitting at the bar at the Three Broomsticks trying to either convince Rosmerta (who loves me like a sister) into giving me something more intense than butterbeer or seducing the barman into giving me a shot or two of firewhiskey.

The night shall end one of two ways…

I shall be happily drunk, stumble back to the school, skip dinner, have a good nap, and then sneak down to the kitchens at midnight to celebrate the end of the terrible terrible holiday.

I will not have succeeded in getting sloshed but will be poor from trying to do some shop therapy but only resulting in depressing myself knowing that Amber Redifer would look better in anything I try on because her legs go on forever. I shall then return to the castle, situate myself beside Bella by the feast and try to drag her away from her most likely new flavor of the week for a cookie party in the kitchens.

So that was my guess… I was wrong….

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So this is the prelude to the Valentines Day chapter. I've been alone on a lot of Valentine's days so I can relate to Lily a lot. I know I am obviously showing the presence of James in her life but we all know how the story ends here. It's the journey that's the exciting part.

Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. As much as I wish I did, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters from the series.


	4. Pink and Chocolate Roses

As I woke up on February 14th I suddenly remembered that I had forgotten something on my terrible day prediction- terrible allergy aggravation. I am allergic to roses, which my roommates find hilarious. I sneezed violently into my pillow. Without even opening my eyes, I knew Ashley Marcs had received pink roses because her bed is closest to mine and I never have a more violent reaction than with pink roses around. I shove my head into my pillow in attempt to shield my senses from the offending floral arrangements.

Knowing that staying in the room would just cause my sneezing to get worse and my eyes to poof up, I rolled over to look at my clock. I reached my hand out to move the random object on my side table out of the way. It was 6:40am- far too early for any normal human to be awake. As I went to place the object back on the counter, I froze. I looked down into my hand as I held back another sneeze. Red foil coiled gracefully around the top of a green stick. On the red was a sticker that reads "Honeyduke's finest chocolate rose." Very confused, I lay the chocolate back beside my clock. 'Since when does Bella buy me Valentines Day gifts?'

I go and take a shower and return to see the girls stirring, some even beginning to admire their gifts. Ashley deeply breathed in the scent of her smelly pink roses. She looked at me apologetically knowing my intense allergies. She knows, however, I would never ask her to move them. Not today. Grabbing my swimming nose pugs from the very bottom of my trunk, I began getting dressed with less sneezing then when I first stirred. By the time all the girls were moving for the showers, I was ready to go. As Bella rushed out to the bathroom running slightly behind her beauty schedule, I yelled after her, "Meet ya in the commons."

Once everyone had retreated I slung my bag upon my shoulder and looked in my vanity mirror fingering my red curls. I cock my head and removed my nose plugs with a smirk. I shrugged at my appearance and looked back at my side table. Silently, I grabbed the chocolate flower and began my slow decent to the common room. Upon arrival, I distractedly floated over to my favorite coach by the fire. I vaguely recognize the boys anxiously pacing below the girl's staircase holding bouquets of various flowers.

Resting my elbows on my knees, I stared at the chocolate. Bella would have been rubbing it in my face how great of a friend she was for buying me chocolate if she bought this for me. So who did? I watched the red foil catch the light mesmerized. Suddenly I felt a hand touch my shoulder. Whipping around, I met warm hazel eyes reflecting the same flickering firelight I had seen in my rose. "You alright Evans?" Asked Potter with a confident smirk, "You looked hypnotized."

I matched his smirk. "I like the fire. Bit of a pyromaniac actually," I replied calming twirling the flower around my fingers. His smirk faded to a smile that almost looked affectionate. I followed his gaze to the flower between my fingertips. I shoved the distracting object into my bag. "So do you have a purpose for knocking me from my trance Potter or are we over due for a public display of aggression?"

He shook his head and ruffled my hair. I made a disgruntled noise. "Happy Valentines Day Red," he replied and walked away and out of the portrait hole. I watched him depart in disbelief. Shaking my head, I pulled out my rose and took a bite. Milk chocolate is really the way to my heart.

After waiting another 15 minutes, I settled down for breakfast with Bella who was able to bat away her date after a short conversation filled with BS about building up anticipation for their coffee date later. I watched the owls swoop down with flurries of pink and red, the occasional piece of white lace fluttering off the cards and onto the floor. My normal Prophet came swooping down to me. Finished eating and waiting for Bella to finish her slow pace, I open the paper. We sat like that until I let the paper drop onto the table. Bella looks into my face. If she could read it, it would read, "Here comes the typical Lily Evans Valentines Day."

She picked up the paper herself and scaned the page before standing from her seat and signaling for me to follow her from the hall. I obediently stand and follow her out. As soon as we step out, she wraps me in her arms as I bury my shocked face into her shoulder.

**Diggory and Brookes to Marry**

_As reported by Madam Pricilla Diggory, Mother of Amos Diggory, Amos Diggory has proposed to Angela Brookes, Witch Wear Model, and she has accepted. After a whirlwind romance of five months, the couple feels ready for this huge step. "I couldn't be happier for my son," explains Madam Diggory. "Angela is a fantastic woman and I look forward to having her in the family and no one can deny that those two will have some good looking kids." _

Bella and I made our way to Potions slowly. I was still leaning on Bella for support. "At least I was sitting when I read it," I said trying to make light of the situation, "It wouldn't do well for me to just collapse over an ex-boyfriend's proposal announcement to a supermodel."

"Look on the bright side," said Bella as she guided me to my seat, "At least the girl who got him was a supermodel. I mean, a supermodel's fiancé asked you out!" I let out a light smile and looked forward.

And I looked straightforward. If I looked to her left, I could see out the window to the exact maple tree Amos and I had once climbed. If I looked to my right, I could see Amos's cousin Drew who was casting the occasional glance at me as if to see how I was holding up. Drew and I got on well but I often had trouble not feeling awkward when talking to him.

Practically running from the room upon the signal, I raced to Defense against the dark arts, my supposed only reprieve from Valentines Day hell after 2 hours of learning Love Potion and infatuation concoction theory.

"Today we will be discussing the unforgivable curses. I am sure you all know all three. We shall begin with the imperious curse," began Professor Johnson, flicking his wrist and conjuring notes about the curse. I sighed in relief. Love nowhere in sight.

The class jotted down the notes and looked up upon completion. "Now then, as you should understand from the above information, imperio can make you do anything… or almost. Internal power can really help, pushing that desire to do as said from you, rationalizing, but contrary to popular belief, there is a different way to defeat the curse." The class leaned forward. "Love," he said simply. I let my head drop to the table as the class looked around at each other.

"Hush now students," exclaimed Johnson. "Now I am not your typical lovey dovey kind of guy," the class laughed. "But love is the most powerful thing in the world, magical but so far beyond. No magic can compare to love."

I walked out of the classroom in a horrible mood. "My one opportunity for escape RUINED!"

Bella was doubled over. "Classic Lils. Your head just clunked on the table perfectly when he said love. I hope you're proud of me for placing my own silence charm on myself."

"And I hope you're happy I took it off." We laughed as we moved towards the great hall.

"Now if this prank doesn't happen, I'm dropping divination because there would be no way I would pass the N.E.W.T.," I exclaimed as we turned the corner to the entrance hall.

A large crowd had gathered by the doors to the hall. Laughter sounded from the front of the group. "I think your crystal ball isn't quite broken yet darling," whispered Bella. We pushed our way to the front of the group and I let out a carefree laugh. The great hall was filled up to waist height in carnations.

"Imagine they were roses," said Ashley appearing at my side.

"Oh Merlin," I groaned, "Don't even want to imagine it." I said pushing my way towards the Gryffindor table. I turned around and looked at Bella and Ashley once halfway there. "Are you coming or are a few flowers going to stop you from getting your lunch?" I flipped my hair behind my shoulder but not before a flashbulb caught my eye. I turned to see James Potter with a camera.

I looked at him quizzically. "Trying to capture this masterpiece here," he said smirking.

"I figured you did this," I said placing a hand on my hip.

"Did I say I did this? Padfoot, did I say I did this?" he asked turning to his right hand man.

"No you did not. You are merely admiring the genius." Sirius said casually. "So you were talking about the importance of getting a proper meal Miss Evans and I must say I agree." He shuffled his way towards me and offered me his arm. "Shall we?"

I slung my arm through his. "Onward kind sir." We led the way towards the Gryffindor table, other Gryffindors following in our carved path of carnations.

Lunch was thoroughly enjoyable which surprised me because of the marauder's constant presence. I never disliked the marauders per say but often found them conceited and hard to be around for long periods of time. Maybe it was the ridiculous situation in which we were in where our legs were basically swimming in flowers but I couldn't remember a more enjoyable meal.

As the hall began to empty of people, not flowers, Bella took her leave to prepare for her date leaving me alone with the boys. I didn't really mind much. Sirius was cracking joke after joke keeping me quite entertained. After the hall was almost empty, Sirius, Remus, and Peter excused themselves leaving me with Potter.

I was in no rush to get to Hogsmeade nor completely thrilled with my current situation. I glanced over at Potter who was looking at me with a smile. "Do you like carnations?" he asked making conversation, fingering a yellow flower beside him.

"I like them much more than roses." I laughed as did he. "I'm deathly allergic."

"Oh I know," he said smiling into the carnation fondly. His head snapped up. He looked up at me with wide eyes, " I can hear you sneezing across the tower."

"I wouldn't be surprised if you could," I said with a smile. "Ashley got pink roses today and those are the worst."

"I'll be sure to get those for you next time we fight," he said popping a cookie into his mouth whole.

"Uh, how can you eat like that," I said half disgusted, half impressed. He shrugged as chewed the cookie. I looked around the empty hall. "Don't you have a date to meet Potter?"

Swallowing his cookie, he looked at me. "Nope. Who wants to deal with a relationship on the corniest holiday of the year?"

"Thank God, someone sane!" I said sinking into my seat. "The only good part of this holiday is the chocolate products."

"And where's your date Evans? Shouldn't you be primping?"

"You know very well I don't have a boyfriend or date."

"Do you want to go to the three broomsticks with me then?" I looked at him skeptically. "Not as a date though. Just as mates."

"Potter, we're not even mates!" I stood up from my seat and turned to move towards to doors.

"Just figured we could drown our sorrows in firewhiskey together. I can usually convince Rosmerta to sell the good stuff to me," he called after me.

I stopped dead. I heard him pushing his way through the carnations. When he was close I whispered, "Firewhiskey?"

I heard him laugh, his breath tickling my neck. I hadn't realized he had gotten so close. I turned my head to look at him. "Yes, firewhiskey. Oh, and to top it off, first round is on me." I raised my brows. "What can I say? I like to drink but drinking alone in general doesn't appeal, yet alone by myself." He looked me in the eye. "Wouldn't hurt to have a pretty girl to drink with either."

It was honestly a hard decision. Drink with an enemy… well, an old enemy, or risk not drinking at all and ending a lonely Valentines Day sober. I probably would have told him no if Drew Diggory didn't walk past the great hall doors towards to main entrance while I was making my decision. The newspaper announcement flashed through my mind. After that, it wasn't hard to figure out.

"Alright, you win Potter. I can't spend today sober. I'll meet you in the common room in a half hour." I began walking out the hall. I turned at the entrance. "Oh, and you're buying the first three rounds." With that I left a grinning Potter standing amongst the flowers.

It took me ten minutes to get up to the tower. My dorm was deserted, clothes thrown this way and that. I placed the nose plugs back upon my nose and pulled the chocolate rose out of my bag. It was now completely clear none of my roommates had given it to me. They would have mentioned it. As I popped a chocolate petal into my mouth, I thought about the night to come. I couldn't help but laugh at the situation. I was going on a very date like trip with James bloody Potter. "I really hope he doesn't expect anything to come from this," I said into my reflection. Moving to my closet I threw on a pair of flairs and a yellow sweater. Throwing my winter cloak around my shoulders, I checked my clock and saw I still had ten minutes.

I moved over to my trunk and took out a lyrics book and flipped through it. I reached my best stuff. I had written it right after my break up with Amos. My gaze falls upon the last poem I wrote in the journal.

"_I know you can't be mine,_

_And even if you could,_

_Could and would are different,_

_I question if you would._

_I think I know my worth._

_I'm worth more than I can see._

_But the question I can't answer,_

_Is who is worthy of me?"_

I hadn't dated since Amos. Mostly because I hadn't been asked much. I often questioned if I was unattractive or unlikable in someway. After a while, I figured no one asked because my mind was so set on other things like school and my residual feeling for my ex-boyfriend. I closed the book and set it back in my trunk. Taking a deep breath, I moved to the vanity mirror once more.

"Well, at least I'm getting sloshed tonight," I said to my reflection. I wasn't an alcoholic. In all honesty, I rarely drank and still do not drink much to this day. However, I did like to have the occasional rebellious action and drinking satisfied that for me. "Let's drink Potter under the table shall we?"

"Go get 'em!" said my mirror as I moved towards the door.

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I like Bella a lot in the story but later she will become less the super hero friend don't worry. She will fall into the age old problem of time management. Can you guess what it is? I tried to throw in a little James fluff since this part of the story is more for my writing enjoyment rather than a parallel to my life, kinda just setting up Lily's relationship. The Character Drew in the his character represents Steve's brother who was in one of my classes throughout my senior year of high school usually sitting diagonally a seat a way. We may have exchanged 4 words the entire year.

Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. As much as I wish I did, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters from the series.


	5. Chocolate and Chips

Warning: This chapter contains some cursing and drunken behavior. I do not condone under-age alcohol consumption and neither does anyone with rights to the Harry Potter Series (as far as I know). If you do not want to read curses or see drunken behavior, please skip to the next chapter.

James was waiting in the common room for me when I came down the girl's stairs. "Ready for a night to remember that neither of us will be able to?" He said standing from an armchair.

"Shhh. Potter, you may have no problem with earning yourself a detention but I do!" I looked around the empty common room and then back at James.

"Evans, stop worrying. The quidditch parties have fire whiskey and you know McGonagall rarely comes into the common room. Relax," he said throwing an arm round my shoulder. I shrugged it off. "You really do need a drink."

I heaved a sigh. "Let's just go. The sooner we get to the Three Broomsticks, the sooner your company will be more bearable." I moved to the portrait hole and out with Potter following behind.

The walk to the front doors was silent. It was only slightly uncomfortable which was a somewhat relief to me. I had doubted my decision to go to with Potter. I didn't want to lead the boy on. He was insufferable as it was and his crush on me was widely known. So why spend the most romantic day of the year with him? As we waited for the 3rd floor staircase to stop moving, I realized that I wanted to be around him for two reasons. One was the guarantee of getting plastered and the second was the guarantee of feeling desired. As much as I hated Potter's constant pursuit, it felt good to feel wanted.

Before I knew it, we were passing Filch and moving towards the carriages. He opened the door for me and I climbed in without looking at him. He closed the door and took the seat across from me. "Are we not going to talk this whole time? Just be each other's excuse to drink?" He asked looking somewhat stern yet disheartened.

"Oh I have many excuses for needing a good strong drink. You are just one of them." I said gazing out the window. "Plus, my tongue loosens with liquor. You might regret asking me to talk later tonight when you can't shut me up."

His laugh was deep and rich like good fudge. "I'll keep that in mind." He looked out the window with me. "Do you want to do anything before hitting the pub? Maybe some shopping? I know I need to take a quick stop to Zonkos and Honeydukes but if you want to go straight to the Three Broomsticks, I wouldn't object."

"No I could use a quick stop by Honeydukes and I could really use a new quill. My spelling is horrid so one of those spell checking quills might be nice to pick up," I responded, glancing over at him.

"We can split apart for shopping if you want. Meet up after." I glanced over at him as he said this. His face was blank but his hands twisting. He was trying so hard. He hadn't said anything overly conceded yet, hadn't mentioned quidditch, or tried to make a move on me. I was surprised to say the least.

"Why don't we meet in Honeydukes? We both need to drop by and candy stores are much for fun with company." He looked over at me. I was still watching his hands, which stilled. "I see candy how I see alcohol. You look pathetic having it by yourself." I met his eyes, which danced with amusement.

"You're funny sometimes Evans."

"I like to think so," I said looking back out the window. I had a sneaking suspicion however that his gaze still rested upon me.

It wasn't long before the carriage arrived. He stepped out first and playfully offered a hand to help me down. Stepping out, I offered an exaggerated curtsy before making my way over to the quill shop.

As exciting as quills are (note the sarcasm) I was ready to leave the store as soon as possible. I grabbed a spell checking quill and an everlasting phoenix quill before making my way to Honeydukes.

The store was packed. I didn't know how I was going to find Potter. Deciding that he was probably still at Zonkos, I moved to my favorite section of the store I liked to call chocolate paradise. Spotting a display of chocolate roses, I moved towards them to read the advertisement.

_Sick of the routine Valentines Day? Offer that special someone a chocolate rose. Realistic petals with a rich, creamy chocolate taste. A great option for those allergic to roses. Not such a great option for those allergic to chocolate. _

I grimaced. I'd take a rose allergy any day over an allergy to chocolate. Madam Pomfrey would see me in the hospital wing every night after I had my chocolate brownie at dinner. Gliding away from the display, I eyed the heart boxes filled with different flavored chocolates longingly. Sure Valentines day sickened me, but I couldn't say I didn't want that jumbo box. Suddenly, the large box flew over my head. I turned and watched it glide into the hands of James Potter. He smiled wickedly. "What's Valentines Day without gorging yourself with a ridiculous amount of delectable chocolate?"

I eyed him warily. "Will you share?"

He laughed walking over to me, holding the corny heart shaped box that was the size of his torso at his side. "If you're very nice miss Evans." He wiggled his brows.

A look of disgust crossed my face and I probably would have slapped him if he did not have the object of my affection clutched tightly beneath his arm. "Buy the darn thing so we can get down to our wonderfully, unromantic, Valentines Day." I pulled him towards the register. We must have been an odd sight: a petite yet livid red head pulling a large smirking quidditch player clutching an enormous box of chocolate.

After Potter paid for the box, we dashed to the Three Broomsticks. Throwing ourselves into two seats at the bar, we set the box between us, tossed it open and grabbed our first pieces. Swallowing his piece James looked at me seriously. "Ok, don't take anything I do from now until sobriety too badly ok? I need to flirt with Rosmerta a bit to ensure complete shittiness. I will flirt with you drunk. This is your only warning. This is your opportunity to run screaming from the bar."

"Potter, you flirt with me sober all the time and everyone knows that Rosmerta has little crushes on you and Sirius," Potter looked slightly embarrassed. I just shook my head at him. "Now get working man whore, there are drinks to be retrieved."

"Is that what you think I am? A man whore?" he asked looking me dead in the eye.

"Only sometimes." I felt kind of bad that he had taken it seriously. It had come out meaner than expected. "But heck, everyone acts a bit like a whore to get what they want. You'll understand better when I'm drunk and want food."

He nodded in a stoic way before turning in his stool to search the bar for Rosmerta. He spotted her chatting with Sirius and Sirius's none too pleased date. She appeared to not like being ignored. Seeing this, James cast a glance back at me. I looked at him strangely and he looked back at Rosmerta. After about a minute, Rosmerta spotted James and bid a due to Sirius and his date much to the relief of the girl trying to get into Sirius's pants.

I looked away as she approached. I didn't know if I was part of James's plans so I decided to remain neutral until he made it clear.

I heard him jump to his feet. "Rosmerta!" He called sounding extremely enthusiastic. "You grow more beautiful each day I must say." '_Cue blush_,' I said to myself mentally. I cast a quick glance over my shoulder. Yep, she was red as … my hair.

"Oh James Potter, you are too much! What brings you to my pub on Valentines Day? You're not alone are you? A good looking man like you without a lady on each arm?" I rolled my eyes.

"Actually," responded James, "I came with a friend." I felt him grab my arm and I took that as my cue to stand up. "This is Lily Evans. We've had classes together since first year, I've been in love with her since I saw her under the sorting hat, and we both hate this bloody holiday which is Valentines Day." I looked at him mouth a gape. "Now Lily Evans here wouldn't give me the time of day if I destroyed Voldemort and every death eater in existence but she will stand my presence on Valentines Day since it is a day of torture to us both." My mouth still hung open. "So I wanted to drink to the occasion. To me, who finally got Lily Evans to go to Hogsmeade with me even if only as two desperate souls avoiding the lovey dovey world as much as possible. I also hope to numb her never ending pain of having me worship the ground she walks on with liquor." Finishing, he looked over at me.

I couldn't speak for the life of me. If Voldemort had held his wand to my head and told me to speak right at that second, I would be dead for sure. Luckily, Rosmerta knocked me from my shock.

"I'll grab my best bottle of fire whiskey for you two then," She said with a sincere smile walking to the back of the bar. James sat back down in his stool but I couldn't will my knees to bend. I just stared at James who stared back.

"I did warn you," he said with a wide grin upon his face.

Rosmerta poured to mugs for us and left the bottle. I thrust myself in my seat and downed the mug in one big gulp. I shook myself as fire burned down my throat. I looked at Potter. "I hate you."

Sipping his quietly he said, "I know." Turning with me he muttered more to his drink than to me, "I know."

From then on, everything continued as planned. We drank until we felt that one more drop would make us incapable of finding the castle. We had stuffed our faces with chocolate and chips. I had complained endlessly about the lack of fish while James complained about how Americans call chips French fries when he didn't even know if they were invented in France. As I stumbled up to bed that night, I began to think that maybe the boy wasn't that bad. He had made me not think about Amos as I often did when sloshed. Even with me vulnerable and intoxicated, he behaved himself and acted as gentlemanly as one can while spilling alcohol down one's front. I jumped onto my bed, too drunk to competently get ready for bed. It wasn't until the next morning that I noticed a singular white lily on my night table.

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Another fluffy chapter. Sorry that I copped out at the end. I promise to write a good drunk scene… in a different chapter. That one will be based off real occurrences. I guess you could call this one a pleasure chapter since it's all fiction. Unfortunately, I do not yet know if I will marry anyone I know right now so I have no James in my life. Therefore, I use Lily as my opportunity to have an imaginary perfect man in my life… well maybe not perfect but perfect for Lily.

So as to keep you all interested, I will be including Snape in here and the story will be DH relevant. Yes… the white lily was from Snape.

Oh, also keep in mind; many of the plot points of the story are out of order from how they occurred in my life.

Oh and PLEASE REVIEW!!! GIVE ME SOME LOVE!!!!

Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. As much as I wish I did, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters from the series.


	6. Out of Thin Air

April has to be the worst month of the year: all the bugs come back, my hair frizzes out, and it rains all the time. The only good part of April this year is the apparition testing and even that's stressful. I'd been dying for my license ever since turning seventeen in January. It was nice to know I could do magic at home from now on. I probably wouldn't though. Petunia was upset enough without me rubbing my magic in her face.

I jumped in a carriage with Bella and we made our way down to Hogsmeade. It was my first time back into town since Valentine's Day with Potter. I hadn't really told Bella much about it, not that there was much to tell. I guess the only thing I didn't tell her is how Potter grew on me that night. It was no big deal, but now when he winked at me, I didn't roll my eyes.

I stepped out the carriage with a smile on my face that was quick to fade. Severus was walking quickly towards me. Placing my hands on my hips, I waited for him to approach, letting Bella disappear down the road, knowing she was waiting at the corner.

"Lily," he said a few steps from me.

"What do you want Severus?" He scared me. I wouldn't lie. Who he had become and what he believed in frightened me more than I could say. My childhood friend had become my nightmare.

He stopped a few paces from me. "Good luck on the test. I'm sure you'll pass."

"Even as a mudblood?" I crossed my arms.

"Lily don't…" he started.

"What else did you come here for?"

He stood still and silent for a few moments. "How's Tuna doing?"

I frowned deeply. "Thanks not what you were going to ask."

"True, but I still want to know."

"We don't correspond much while I'm at school. I think she's still a bit upset that she couldn't come. She is still calling me a freak."

"You're not," he said earnestly, stepping a bit closer.

I stepped back. "If you've lost your nerve to say what you were going to, I must be going."

"Lily," he called as I walked away. I didn't look back.

I met back up with Bella who was window gazing into a high-class jeweler. I grabbed her by the arm, not slowing my pace, and pulled her towards the meeting point for our apparition test.

"What did Snape want?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know what he want but he asked about my sister instead."

"I don't see why you talk to the git."

"Bella…."

"No Lily, listen. You know what he's a part of. You know what he thinks of people who are like you." I slowed my pace slightly.

"He never thought of me that way though until last year… or at least I didn't know he did. I'd always thought him one of my best friends."

"I hate to say it Lils, but people like him have always thought that way, basically since birth. His mother raised him that way."

I shook my head sadly. "I know that." We walked silently for a few seconds. "He introduced me to magic though. Told me I was a witch, a powerful one."

"He wasn't wrong honey," laughed Bella. We continued to rest of the walk on more carefree topics.

"… so then he reached his arm around me and said 'I hope you know you're beautiful.'"

"Oh that's cute Bella."

"Oh, it was cute until his hand grabbed my breast." We laughed together. "End of date needless to say."

We let our laughter carry us the test proctor. She was a young which, had to be in her twenties, and I over heard Sirius whisper to Remus that she was "not too bad on the eyes." She was average height with a curvaceous build, light brown hair tumbling down her back in shiny waves.

"Hello students. This is rotation two to be test correct?" Spoke the woman to the group. The group nodded. "Good. Well I am Miss Melissa Solomon. I am an apparation specialist for the ministry with focus on splinch mending. I will read role and we shall begin shortly after. "Black, Sirius…" and the list went on to include 4 people from each house.

She explained the test directions as we listened. She had created a point in front of the local menagerie to which we were supposed to apparate to and then return back from. Her intern assistant, Christopher, was waiting there to check those who came by.

I was third in line so I waited impatiently. I was nervous. I knew how to apparate but still was shaking. Bella put a hand on my shoulder. Taking a deep breath, I stepped forward for my turn. Picturing the spot clearly, I turned in place, letting the now familiar crushing pressure consume me. Landing I felt someone knock into my side. I began to fall sideways when a pair of strong arms grabbed a hold of me. I looked up to a good-looking tall man. He couldn't have been two years out of school. His jaw was speckled with afternoon shadow and his dark eyes twinkled joyfully.

"Are you alright miss?" He asked setting me on my two feet.

"I'm fine. Am I not in the right place though?" I looked around and saw that I was indeed within the white circle created in front of the menagerie.

"Oh, do not worry, you were fine. I was not paying attention to where I was pacing and I kind of walked into your newly appeared form. I can't say I was fully upset to run into a beautiful witch like yourself, just slightly embarrassed."

I blushed deeply. "You must be Christopher."

"Please call me Chris." He said looking me up and down. "Don't mind me, I'm just ensuring you haven't splinched yourself at all." I walked around me. I noticed he took special care checking both my facial features and the features of my behind.

"Well you look fine to me." I sighed in relief. "But before you go, can I have your name?"

"Lily Evans," I said simply.

"And can I also have you availability status?" he asked smiling

"Excuse me?"

"Are you single?" He asked still smiling.

"Oh!" I exclaimed my eyes growing. "Well… yes, I am."

"And one final question, would you can to grab a butterbeer round 2 at the three broomsticks with me? You fascinate me miss Evans."

I moved to the center of the circle. "Please call me Lily." And with that, I turned and reappeared in front of Melissa with a large smile on my face.

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Hey all! Sorry that it's been a while since I've updated. I've been really busy at college. I suddenly got the urge to write this chapter though. No James in sight for me personally but this new character, Chris, was my last boyfriend. We actually met through a friend online and talked for about a month before he asked me out but you shall see why this character is interesting.


	7. Butterbeer and Benches

At 2 o'clock, I wandered into the three broomsticks and made my way over to the bar. I didn't see him so I took my seat at the bar. Madam Rosmerta wandered over and smiled at me. "Hello sweetheart. Where is your entourage of admirers?"

I laughed. "There is no such group sadly."

"I beg to differ," said Rosmerta quietly, her gaze not on me but over my shoulder. I turned and saw Chris walking quickly over towards me. I took a moment to admire him. He was tall, much taller than I had realized, probably scraping 6'5". He had on navy blue working robes. He kind of looked like a retired rugby player. I smiled at him and then turned to face Rosmerta, who had gracefully disappeared down the bar, now speaking jovially to a pink faced Hagrid.

Chris slid into the seat beside me as I checked my watch. "You're five minutes late you know."

"You're lucky I came you know." He responded looking at me intensely.

I looked at him amazed. "You asked me to come here."

"You never said yes." He smirked, knowing he had a point.

Turning towards the bar I muttered, "What girl turns down a free drink?"

"Who said I was paying?"

"Should I leave?" I smiled at him over my shoulder. He playfully glared at me before turning to call for Rosmerta. I turned away as he ordered and noticed the marauders in the corner booth. Black and Potter were laughing and chatting while Peter was hyperventilating with giggles. Remus, however, was watching me with a questioning eye. I turned away, not knowing the question and really not knowing the answer.

Turning back towards Chris, I saw him watching Rosmerta filling the glasses. I took the moment to look at his face closely. His face showed signs of shadow and his eyes were a grayish blue. Not soon after I started my appraisal, he turned towards me. "So Lily Evans. Why did I feel the need to ask you here?"

"Shouldn't you know the answer to that?"

"Guess for me," He said confidently

"Hm…because you've never seen anyone with this shade of hair?"

He laughed. "That may be true, but it's not the reason I invited you for a drink."

"Well, what is it then?"

"Where did you get those eyes?" he asked suddenly.

I smiled. "My mom." I replied simply. He nodded. "So tell me about yourself Chris. Where you from? You didn't go to Hogwarts did you?"

"I did Hogwarts for one year. I moved to Ireland when I was 12. I went to wizarding school there and then popped over to England to try to get a job with the ministry."

"Couldn't you commute from Ireland? Long distance apparate? You are interning in the apparition department?"

He looked smugly at me as Rosmerta dropped off our drinks, giving me a discreet wink as she passed. "Aren't you full of questions kid?"

"Kid?" I asked slightly offended.

"Yeah! You're only 17."

"And you're what? 170?" I said rolling my eyes and taking a large gulp of butterbeer to sooth my frazzled nerves.

"19 but 17 and 19 are two very different ages."

I snorted into my drink as attractively as one can (aka not very attractively). "Darling, at six, I had more maturity than you have now."

"Ooo pet names already sweetheart?" He slung an arm around my shoulder. I heard a glass crash behind me. I shook my head and I shrugged his arm off teasingly. He drove me crazy in a literal, send me to the nut house way. But at the same time, it stirred my interest. He frustrated me.

I finished off my drink and was debating on whether or not to order myself another. I turned to see Chris drain his glass. "Care to take a walk around Hogsmeade?" he asked.

I shrugged and said "sure." I hopped off my stool and walked over to the door, knowing his eyes lingered on my backside.

"Promise me something?" he said once we were outside. I turned to look at him. "Never wear robes when we hang out. It would be a crime to hide that behind."

Not knowing whether to be slightly offended or complimented, I started walking down the road, leaving him to catch up. We finally settled in front of the bookstore and sat on a bench. We talked about nonsense and he gradually sat closer and closer to me. It made me get a bit nervous. The day had happened so fast. I wasn't mentally prepared for this. I shivered in the cold of the coming night. He cast a warming charm on me. I looked at him funny and thanked him. He conjured a small rose and gave it to me. I smiled at him and quickly vanished it. He looked at me funny. "Allergic," I muttered quietly for no other reason than that he was so close, he could hear me at any volume.

"So I may have to offer you another gift," And he kissed me. I kissed back.

And time passed. He was a good kisser and I soon found myself lying on the bench, his body pressing down upon mine. His hands sneaked across my neck moving down. I pulled back and caught his eye and shook my head. "I better head back."

"No," he whined into my neck. I tried to push him off and he reluctantly lifted off of me. I brushed my fingers through my hair and took to my feet.

"Will I see you again?" I asked my shoelaces.

He kissed my check and shrugged before apparating off with a smile.

I looked at the spot where he disapperated with a frown and looked around. "He could have at least walked me to the gate." I whispered quietly before walking off towards the castle.

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I am home for the summer- I know what I'm writing for the next chapter so more will come soon.

Yes- This is a real guy now from my life. His name is Chris and yes, he is this big of a piece of work. He constantly would talk about how lucky I was he traveled such a great distance to see me and how he was so tired from doing it. I always called me a kid when he was two years older than me and very immature. You'll see why he's such a terrible piece of work very soon.


	8. How To Not Play Games

I wandered into the common room and spotted Remus staring into the fire. "Hey," I called out to him amicably, "What's with you keeping my usual spot warm?" I walked over to him and sat on the opposite coach.

He looked at me, leaning his elbows on his legs. "Just testing it out. Getting a look inside your head." So we both sat there looking into the fire for a few minutes, his words bouncing about in my head. After a while he said, "He saw you, you know." And then we sat silently again.

"What? I asked still gazing distractedly in the fire.

"James saw you today at the Three Broomsticks with that apparition intern."

"And?"

Remus stood up. I slowly averted my eyes from the fire. "Do you have any ideas how many times I have heard about your trip on Valentines Day with James? I've counted. 78 times. Do you know how many times you've talked to him since February? Twice." He looked at me heavily.

"Why are you telling me this Remus?" I furrowed my brow.

He moved towards the boy's staircase. "Just, don't play with him just because you can." He turned to walk away but I wasn't going to let him do that.

"Oh no you don't Lupin," I jumped off the couch and over to the staircase. He met me at the bottom step, his tall frame towering over mine. "I have played no games. We went to the bar as mates. He said it, not me. He said as mates. It was fun and he's not a bad guy. I'll admit it. I don't hate him now is all. Would you prefer I treat him like an enemy again? Then would I not be playing games? I don't know what you want from me Remus. I'm not going to jump into his arms just because he's obsessed with me."

"But do you have to flaunt guys right in front of him?" He asked starting to look angry.

"Flaunt? Flaunt Remus? I get asked to the three broomsticks and just because I spot you boys in the corner, am I supposed to flee the bar? Throw a wig on the guy and make him pretend he's one of my girlfriends? Or am I to retreat to the Hogshead and risk whatever Aberforth has in those glasses?" I shook my head trying to calm my anger. It was the red hair I swear.

I looked up at Remus and saw his face red with fury. "He didn't ask to fall for you." He turned to walk away and I caught him on the arm. I felt the muscle twitch.

"And I didn't ask him to!!" I responded angrily. Breathing deeply, I closed my eyes and allowed myself to calm down. "What do you want me to do Remus?" I hissed. "Talk to him more? Talk to him less? Give up my life? Jump into his bed?" I let go of him and walked over to my couch hearing Remus slowing following me. Each step cooled my anger more until I sat and became completely calm, cool in contrast to the burning flame in the hearth. "I don't know what you're asking me for Remus, but there is a 95 chance that today was the last he'll need to see of Chris."

I heard him breathe in the corner. "Just wear your hair down tomorrow." He turned back towards the stairs.

"Why?" I asked turning from the fire.

"Well, for one, you don't wear your hair down enough and also, seeing you with a guy might be easier for James than seeing that love bite on the left side of your neck."

I shot up and to the mirror on the wall. I groaned on the sight of the dark purple mark. I turned to look at Remus but he was gone. Sighing, I went to my own staircase and made my way to my bed.

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I just enjoyed writing this as a fictional piece. I didn't have a jealous man to think about but I like this take on the relationship between Remus and James and Remus and Lily. I like how Remus and Lily are kind of brutally honest with each other so it's obvious they have a friendship even though they are at ends with each other. They know the other. They know how to push the buttons, ask the questions, and make the other think about what they're thinking.

Starting my internship soon so hopefully, I will have time write still.

PLEASE REVIEW! The more reviews I get, the more I feel like writing!


	9. Half Eaten Omelets

It was a week after the Hogsmeade trip and the hickey had faded days ago now. I hadn't heard from Chris and felt slightly insulted. Not that I was conceited but it wasn't often that I was turned away after the first date. So I sat with Bella at breakfast as she told me about her latest crush. It was a bit frustrating because all we had talked about recently was her love life. I hadn't even gotten a chance to tell her about the "Chris Situation" as I liked to call it. So I just pretended to listen to her ramble on about Jason Anderson from Hufflepuff as I inhaled down my omelet.

The owls flew in and the normal brown one from the prophet landed expertly in front of my plate as it had every day since I started Hogwarts. I quickly slid the knut into the sack around its ankle and removed the paper. The owl flew off and just as I opened my paper, another owl took its place landing slightly less gracefully, tipping my glass of water onto the table. I looked at the light brown owl. It held a plain white envelope in his claws with my name scribbled on the front.

"Whose owl is that?" asked Belle.

"I'm not sure," I said reaching for the letter. I carefully freed the letter but the owl stayed put. "But I'm guessing whoever sent the owl is expecting a response."

"Well open it!" she said.

I broke the seal of the letter and pulled out the parchment.

_Lily,_

_Sorry I've been out of touch. My life is going to the banshees. I dropped out of my internship am looking into a few different things. I'm keeping real busy._

_I'm dropping into Hogsmeade next week to do a few interviews. I was wondering if maybe we could meet up. I promise to make it worth the trip._

_But yeah, let me know if you want to hang out._

_Chris_

I finished the letter and almost laughed. Of what I knew of him, it was very him to practically booty owl me. I passed the letter over to Bella who looked like she was about to piss herself with nosiness. After she read it, she didn't smile. She just looked at me. "Whose Chris?"

"He was the assistant proctor for the apparition test. He asked me to go for drinks after and we kind of just spent the day together."

She didn't smile at me like she normally would when I told her about a guy. "The intern? Why didn't you tell me?"

"You've been so excited about Jason I haven't been able to tell you about it."

"I'm you're best friend Lily," she said raising her voice slightly. "You couldn't slip it into conversation?"

"Bella, I'm sorry," I said trying to ease her drama queen ways. "It just slipped my mind. It was nothing really."

"Sure Lily," she said tossing the letter to me. "Sure." And with that she walked out of the great hall leaving me with a crumpled letter and a cold, half eaten omelet.

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Hope you guys enjoy the quick updates of this story. I've been inspired to write this story since I hung out with Chris a few weeks ago. I've been reminded of his personality so it's been easy to write these chapters. In response to some of the reviews, yes, the broken glass from the last chapter was James's response.

Thanks for all the reviews guys. Keep them coming.


	10. Thanking James

I spent the next week pondering why I was even thinking about sneaking to Hogsmeade to see Chris. I had so many reasons to just forget it. First of all, it was pissing off Bella to no end for a reason completely beyond me. I had apologized to her (still having no clue what was my fault) but I felt like she only half heard it. Second, the letter was basically a blatant booty call. Was I honestly that desperate? And thirdly, I was prefect! Going into Hogsmeade would break at least 7 rules. Also, Chris hadn't exactly treated me well on our last encounter. And lastly, I had no clue how I could get there. I pondered for a few moments whether I should maybe ask McGonagall or Dumbledore but rethought that quickly. It wasn't worth it.

I was better than this guy and I knew it, but at the same time, when not occupied by work or conversation, my thoughts always returned to that bench he pushed me against so passionately and how I could get to that bench again.

'God, I really need to get some,' I thought to myself while drifting off to Binn's lecture. I had received another letter from Chris that morning. It basically gave more details of when he was free and had some flirtatious comments about making it worth my while if I got into town. I saw Bella purse her lips when his owl landed this morning. I hadn't looked at the letter since breakfast. I knew I needed to forget about it.

The day dragged by and soon I was trying to defeat the transfiguration assignment due the next day, Friday. Bella had disappeared to bed a while ago and only the odd student still remained in the common room. I was settled into my normal spot by the fire.

"You still working on the mammal transfiguration theory essay?" said a voice behind my head.

Turning, I let my eyes rest upon the resident transfiguration pro. "You could say that but I think working would probably a nice way of putting it. Bull shitting would be more appropriate."

Potter smacked a hand over my mouth surprising me. "Evans! You cursed! Your own mouth tainted your precious ears. The horror!"

I licked his hand and he withdrew it, flushing. "Transfiguration tends to do that to me."

"Well do you want some help?" He asked. I looked at him skeptically until he continued. "I finished it already and don't feel like going to bed yet."

"I mean, I'm almost done." I said looking at my paper. "It just sucks."

"Let me see it," he said, pulling my paper towards him. We sat in silence for a while, the only sound in the room, the crackling of the fire, the scratch of James's quill, and a soft footsteps of tired students dragging themselves up the stairs to bed.

"There," said Potter pushing the paper back to me. "All you have left to do is your conclusion. Just say something about the differences between mammal transformation and animagi so as to show you know what happens beyond this topic and you should be fine. At least an Exceeds Expectations I would guess."

Sighing, I looked over Potter's changes and wrote off a quick conclusion before snapping my books shut and sinking deeper into my seat. I was so tired.

"Tired?"

I opened one of my eyes. "It's been a long week."

"It's been a long year," he laughed back.

"You could say that again," I said but upon seeing his mouth open I continued, "but don't."

We sat in silence for a while just enjoying the sound of the fire.

"So I hear you want to get into Hogsmeade," Potter said suddenly.

"How'd you…."

"Bella was talking to Sirius… well I think bitching would be the word I'd use."

I placed my head in my hands. "I honestly don't know what's going on with her. She always gets like this when a guy I'm interested in shows interest in me. It doesn't matter to her at all if I like a guy and he ignores it or if he likes me and I'm not interested."

"Am I the latter?" He said jokingly, though his eyes showed he was more interested in the answer than he wanted to seem.

I shook my head sadly. "Not everything is about you Potter." Standing up and walking closer to the warmth of the fire, I continued, "In this case, it's all about Bella."

He quickly said, "But anyway, I didn't come here just to talk about Bella."

I looked at him over my shoulder. "Then why did you? To rub in my face the fact that prefect Evans wants to break a rule and go to Hogsmeade?"

He couldn't hold back a smile. "Only a little."

"I'm done," I said exasperated. I had enough to deal with without Potter being… Potter.

"Just wait a second Evans before you assume the worst of me." I stopped walking, mostly because I still needed to grab my transfiguration papers off the couch. A little part of my brain also told me that I was curious what his excuse could be. "I came to you," he continued, "because I need to grab a few new quills, and restock on Honeydukes goods and Zonkos products."

I was temporarily shocked into silence. "So are you offering to bring me to Hogsmeade?" I finally responded slowly, unbelieving. I walked back over towards him.

"If you still want to go. I mean, since when do you break rules? Especially for a date?" I was picking up my papers as he talked but stopped and turned to him on the word date.

"But wait a second. You're willing to show me into Hogsmeade so I can go on a date? This doesn't seem like you Potter. You're usually punching guys who even think about dating me."

He shrugged. "Well, maybe I'm growing up a little."

I shrugged back. "Maybe you are." We both just stood there for a moment, looking at each other, sizing each other up. "So are you serious about your offer then?"

He shifted from foot to foot, looking somewhere just over my right shoulder. "Yeah, I mean, I need to go anyway."

I thought for a moment and found the hilarity in the situation. I was just about to give up on the whole idea of going to see Chris when Potter basically begs to take me to him. He was helping me date someone. This being mates thing was going to take some getting used to. "How about tomorrow then?"

Potter moved his eyes to mine and gave a soft smile, not his usual confident one. "We don't have quidditch practice until the day after so I'm free."

Finishing gathering up my notes, I moved to pass him and go up the stairs but stopped short when next to him. "Thanks James," I said warmly, letting his first name slid easily off my tongue.

And with that, I walked up the stairs, put my books in my trunk, and got ready for bed. I was suddenly reminded of Remus's words of warning. Feeling slightly guilty and concerned that I may have led him on, I gave my hair an extra good brushing to work out both my knots and my nerves.

--

On the other side of the tower, the 6th year boys were being rudely woken by an elated boy dancing around and singing,_ "She called me James! She called me James!"_

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Hey all! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I just remembered that I had this inspiration the other day and hadn't written it yet. I know it's not an overly long chapter but I feel it says a lot about Lily and James's growing relationship and also about Bella's character. I'm basing her off of an old best friend that I had at the time a lot of my relationship drama was going on.

Please let me know what you think and give me your ideas and suggestions. I have a main framework worked out (aka. my own love life to draw from) but would love some fluffy ideas or some great prank ideas. Not a huge prankster myself, I find planning Marauder sized pranks difficult.

All My Love,

Melissa

PS: REVIEW!!


	11. Reflections

"So you're going?" asked Bella over breakfast the next morning. "You're actually going?"

I finished reading over Chris's response letter and looked up at Bella with a small smile. "Yeah, I am."

"And Potter is bringing you?" she asked again, looking flabbergasted.

"Yeah, he is." I folded up the letter and put it in my bag.

"And Potter knows what he's bring you to?" she asked lifting her eyebrows.

"Yeah, he does." I shrugged and turned to my toast.

"Wow," Bella said sipping her juice. "Hell really _did _freeze over."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you're sneaking out of the castle, James is helping you go on a date with someone else, and you're answering a booty call. I never thought I'd see the day any of this happened. I don't know what to think about it."

I looked up at her to see her focused on me. "To be honest Bella, I don't either."

We finished the rest of our breakfast in an uncomfortable silence. There was nothing to be said anymore. I knew her opinion at that point and nothing she could say could stop me from going through with this plan, even if the guilt of breaking a rule and hurting Potter's feelings was about to rip me to shreds.

The rest of the day slipped by in what felt like minutes. Potions was a blur, as was divination. Transfiguration was hard as usual but as our homework flew into McGonagall's hands, I saw Potter turn to look at me and I gave him a friendly smile. It was then I decided that Bella was right. Hell had frozen over indeed.

After my last class, Astronomy, I headed up for the Gryffindor Common room to preen for my dinner date. I usually wasn't one to be vain but something about Chris struck a chord with me. Maybe it was because he was the only guy I had thought of romantically since Amos. Maybe it was because he was so good looking (and tall). I think I knew deep down though that it was really because he was able to walk away from me after kissing me on the bench. I don't think I could accept that a kiss that turned my legs to jelly could have no impact on him at all. That night I wanted to make sure it did have an impact on him, me being average or not.

I pulled my hair from its clip and ran my fingers through it. I grabbed a spray bottle from my desk and attempted to battle my horrible frizz. I slid some clear gloss on my lips and powder on my face. I changed from my robes to my favorite flairs and a long sleeve gold v-neck and my favorite black scarf. Once my hair no longer resembled a lion's mane and I was sure that stupid ketchup stain had indeed come out of my top when it was washed, I made my way downstairs to meet up with James.

When I reached the common room, I was surprised to see the rest of the marauders sitting with him, all looking ready to head out. I walked up to them trying not to seem nervous or thrown off. In my head I was thinking 'Great, I have a four man escort to my booty call.'

"I assume all of you are coming then?" I asked, hoping without hope that at least one of them would say no. To my disappointment, they all nodded and smiled cheerily.

Sirius was smiling most broadly. "You're not the only one here with a hot date tonight." James looked uncomfortable while Peter and Remus grinned broadly.

"Sirius asked out the apparition test woman and she said yeah. Her name's Melissa, I think." Remus told me as we moved toward the portrait hole.

"Yeah," I murmured to myself, "I seem to recall someone in my group saying that she wasn't bad on the eyes."

"Its all Sirius has been talking about recently." Added Peter, falling in step with Remus and I. "He brags and brags about snagging her. It's really becoming repetitive. I wish he would start his obsession with international quidditch again. At least then when he talked at length I could learn something other than, 'They don't make legs on girls like that at Hogwarts.'"

"I can hear you, you know." Said Sirius over his shoulder as we descended a staircase.

And so we walked on, Remus and I taking the mickey out of Sirius all the while about his ability to talk nonsense until he turns blue. I hardly noticed the many staircases and doors we passed until we came to an abrupt halt in front of a massive mirror I couldn't remember ever seeing before.

"What's the hold up?" I asked as they all looked into the mirror.

"No hold up my dear," said Sirius with a playful smirk. "Merely pausing to appreciate the greatness of our reflections."

I heard an unfamiliar laugh sound and I looked quickly around to see who was passing by. The hall was deserted, the laughter still echoing softly down the corridor. I was utterly perplexed until a gentle female voice sounded from the direction of the mirror.

"You never will change will you Sirius."

I wiped around and stared at the mirror. Our reflections has disappeared and instead a beautifully pale woman stood serenely in the glass. A flirtatious smile lit her features.

"I sure hope not!" He said winking at her. Her pale cheeks turned crimson. "Might I say you look lovely today, not that your beauty could ever fade."

"Oh hush you." She said playfully. "And how are the rest of you boys?"

"Wonderful Angeline." Said Remus with a short bow that made me smile. Such a gentleman to her, she blushed.

"And who are you my dear?" she asked, her eyes shifting to me.

I stepped forward away from the boys. "I'm Lily Evans."

Her eyes grew wide and flickered over to the boys. She opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by James. "Fairest One."

She blinked once and said, "Oh yes, right! Proceed."

With that Angeline's image faded and a door appeared within the reflection. I followed the boys are they grew neared to the mirror and watched as Peter stepped into the frame and walked along this new plane over to the door. The rest of us followed swift and crossed to the door in the mirror. I looked behind me out at the hall. It was like a carnival fun house; mirrors were on my right and left, but ahead of me was the hall I had just left. I wondered if someone passed if they would see me. I decided I did not want to find out and hurried the rest of the way through the door.

When my eyes adjusted to the new light, I blinked. The room was so large and bright, sunlight beating down from every angle. "How did you find this place?" I breathed.

"Well we were just wandering the school one day in second year and Sirius stopped to fix his hair." Said James chuckling.

Sirius just shrugged. "Can't hate me for it. My vanity helped us find this tunnel."

"So we started making fun of him for being vain when Angeline popped into the mirror." Continued James. "Then Remus said something funny."

"Mirror Mirror on the wall," Remus began, "Whose the…"

"Fairest One of all." I finished. "That's how you figured out the password?"

"Basically!" said Peter excitedly. "Then I walked up to touch the mirror with the door in it and fell through the frame. The rest is history."

As we continued to walk, I enjoyed the view around me. The room was large and looked delicate. The walls were some kind of glass that bounced the different lights in all directions like a prism.

Sooner than I was expecting, we had reached another door. Sirius popped his head out and pulled it back in quickly. "It looks clear but maybe Lily should go out first."

"Why me?" I asked suddenly worried. Was this just a trick?

"Because this tunnel comes out as a supposedly always locked dressing room at Witches Robes for all occasions." Sirius answered smiling. "It will be easier to explain if someone sees you walk out of a dressing room than one of us blokes."

"What do you boys usually do?"

Peter blushed. "You don't want to know."

I accepted that fact and stepped out the door into the pink dressing room lobby. After a quick look around I saw that the store was not packed but far from empty. How was I going to get 4 boys out unnoticed and without suspicion?

Thinking quickly, I picked a green robe off of a rack and ran into an unlocked dressing room. Throwing it on, I walked out and peered at myself in the mirror, letting the sales woman who was eyeing me curiously, see me inspecting the garment. I walked over to the locked door and tried a guess at how to enter. "Snow White." I whispered as I turned the handle. I heard the lock click open and pushed through the door.

"We should have brought the cloak," I heard Sirius mumbling to the others.

At the sound of the door closing they looked up at me.

"Ok, so the store has a good number of people in it so you guys can just pretend to be helping me pick out something ok?" They all just stared at me. "What?"

"You are buying that." Said James his eyes glued passionately to my face.

I laughed. "I couldn't afford them. This is our cover. Now get ready, I'll say, Boys and then you pop out, run to the wall opposite this door and lean against it. Got it?"

They all nodded, still too busy looking at me to speak. I walked out and went to the 3-way mirror once more. Once I was sure that everyone looked busy in the lobby I said loudly, "I'm not sure. BOYS! What do you think?" As I turned to look at the door, I saw it just closing. Over at the wall, all the boys looked nonchalant and smug.

"I'll buy them for you if you refuse to buy them yourself." James said pushing away from the wall and standing behind me. "It would be a sin for you not to have these."

I looked down at myself and didn't understand him. What was so great about these robes? They played up my eyes yeah, but the rest was just like any other robe. It had a golden clasp in the front that formed the shape of a dragon and the hem sat in line with my anklebone. The collar was dramatic, slightly larger than the average lapel. I gazed at myself and didn't understand what the fuss was about.

"Can I help you miss?" the sales clerk asked me.

"Yes," responded James. "I would like to purchase this robe she is wearing. Could she wear it out?"

"Of coarse sir." She quickly snipped off the tag of the robes and slid her hands against the robes shoulders. "It looks like it was made for her indeed sir. Would you follow me to the register?"

"James don't," I begged, trying to shrug out of the green fabric but he just laughed.

"I'm buying it for you whether you wear it or not." He said, following the clerk to the counter.

Sighing, I knew there was no use. James had always bought me elaborate Christmas gifts, which I never used. How was this different? It was also a nice addition to my outfit of gold and black. Chris might like the layering.

"Let's see him walk away now." I whispered to myself.

The rest of the boys and I followed James to the table and then moved out into the warm crisp air of Hogsmeade. I breathed in deeply and thought that maybe this would be one of the scents in my amortenia potion.

Looking down at my watch, I realized I was already 5 minutes late. I turned the boys who were all looking at me.

"Well, I need to run to the 3 broom sticks. I guess I'll catch you guys later? Do you want to meet or should I just find my way back?"

"Let's meet." James said quickly. I watched Remus's eyes shift to the ground. "Getting out of the mirror is a bit tricky the first time. Peter ended up in the hospital wing."

Sirius let out a bark of a laugh. "Well, I'll be off too. Meet by the shack at 10?"

I nodded my agreement and hurried off to the three broomsticks.

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By the time I got to the 3 broomsticks I was ten minutes late. I gazed around the pub and didn't see any sign of my tall date. Confused, I walked over to the bar and ordered a butter beer. I sat and pondered for a few minutes. Maybe he thought I wasn't coming and left. Maybe he was standing me up. What if he wasn't coming? It was only 6! What was I going to do to kill time till 10! What if one of the boys saw me by myself? Maybe I could just hide out in the girl's loo.

Just as I was considering which stall would be most comfortable (I was thinking the handicap one), the stool beside me slipped back and someone plopped down next to me. I looked up to see Chris beaming down at me. "I didn't think you were going to really show up." He said smiling at me. "Didn't think you'd get out of the school."

"I didn't think you were going to show up either, seeing that it's twenty minutes after we said we were going to meet.' I looked down at my butter beer, refusing to look him in the eyes.

He grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. "Lils," he said soothingly, his long eye lashes brushing his cheeks when he blinked. He leaned in and gave me a swift kiss on the lips. "I'm sorry. I had an interview that ran late. The woman just couldn't get enough of me." He got a smug look on his face. It reminded me of Potter. Not the now bearable James, but Potter.

I looked away again. He switched tactics and grabbed my hand instead. "Let's get a table and some food alright? I did promise to make it worth your trip."

Still refusing to look at him I rose to my feet and let him guide me to a booth in the corner. I could see the bathroom from my seat and decided to act less pissy. This was better than the handicapped stall.

"So where are you interviewing at?" I asked curiously after we had both ordered a pair of butter beers, his with a shot of fire whiskey mixed in.

"Just about everywhere you can think of. I don't know exactly where I want to go right now so I'm just trying things out and enjoying myself."

"You can't do that forever though."

"Enjoy myself? I sure hope I can."

I smiled in spite of myself. "No. No. You can't just wander for your whole life."

"Why not?" He asked. He reached up and grabbed his glass from Rosmerta with a smile.

"What kind of existence is that?"

"An adventurous one."

I sighed, knowing this was one battle I was not going to win. "Did you like anyone you interviewed with?"

"Eh, not really."

I heaved another sigh.

"Ok miss perfect. What do you want to do once you graduate from Hogwarts then?"

"Ministry," I said sipping my drink.

"Which department?" He asked taking a large gulp of his own glass.

"I'm thinking maybe the auror department or maybe work as a charms specialist. I'm a little better at potions than charms but really, charms makes me happy. I think it's best to pick a career you love."

"I think that's a very good thought." He raised his glass to me. "Cheers to love."

We clinked glasses and night became a bit more comfortable. We exchanged funny stories and laughed like old mates. Only when he took my hand after paying the bill did I remember we were on a date. It had felt much more natural just to banter.

As we strolled down the streets, I spotted Peter and James stumbling out of Zonkos, their clothes were smoking slightly and there bags were over flowing. I couldn't help but smile. Thinking I was smiling at him, Chris smiled down at me. We moved into a small park at the center of town and sat on the grass. Chris pulled out his want and once again congured a rose which I vanished quickly.

"Allergic."

"Oh! Sorry! I forgot!"

"Do you give all your dates a rose?" I asked curiously but not accusingly.

He laughed, "Most of them. For you, I will have to learn Lilies." He leaned in close enough that I could smell the butter beer on his breathe.

"How ironic." I said smiling at him.

"Indeed." And with that he closed the gap between our faces and kissed me. Kissing Chris was like getting a very intense lip massage. He attacked my lips with such power, I could do nothing but succumb to his will. He started to push me towards the ground but I stopped him.

"Just hold on one second." I quickly stood up and pulled off my new green robe. I didn't want it to get grass stains. I folded it neatly and placed it beside my purse. He looked up at me from the ground impatiently. "I told you not to wear a robe when we hung out."

"A mate bought it for me today. I didn't have much choice in the matter."

He shrugged in response, his long form looking even longer when viewed from above.

I looked down at him smiling. "Roll on your stomach." I told him.

"Why?"

"Because I want to give you a massage! I am the best."

He quickly rolled to his stomach and stretched out full on the grass. I took a moment to appreciate his long form against the plane of green before straddling his back and digging my hands into his muscles. As I kneaded his back, I compared Chris to Amos. The only thing they had in common was there age and the fact that they were so much taller than me. Amos had opened doors and waited for me to say go. Chris ran through doors and waited for me to say no. It was a very different experience.

When I wasn't expecting it, Chris flipped over so I was now straddling his waist. He sat up and wrapped his arms around me, his mouth once again covering my own. Crossing my ankles behind his back, I let my fingers play with his short hair and around his neck and back. When short for air, I pulled back and tilted my head to allow him further ministrations at my neck.

Soon he had me pinned to the ground once more, his hand roaming over my body. He let his hand drift places that made me self-conscious; my stomach and the valley between my breasts. When his hand drifted lower I would stop him. After his third attempt I stopped, he pulled away with a question in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Chris but that area is off limits to anyone but boyfriends." I answered his unvoiced question.

"You're a virgin aren't you?" He asked, bending to kiss my neck.

I sat up quickly, surprised by the question. "What?"

"Not saying that you aren't an excellent kisser because lord knows you are but you are a virgin aren't you?" he asked, making very intense eye contact.

"Yes," I said slightly embarrassed. "I am."

"You don't know what you're missing." He said smiling. "Are you one of those religious types waiting for marriage?"

"Not really," I answered, feeling slightly uncomfortable. I usually had no problems talking about sex with anyone but Chris's obvious experience put me on edge.

"How far have u gone?" he asked with a small smile.

My jaw dropped. "Umm."

"Has anyone?" He moved his hand down again. I stopped it.

"Yes."

"Have you?" He grabbed my hand and pushed it down. I pulled it out of his.

"Yes."

"Has anyone?" He slipped his tongue inside my ear. I knew the ear was not the place he was referring to a tongue being.

"No."

"OH MAN!" he almost yelled. I tried to hush him. "You're REALLY missing out babe." And with that said, he crushed his mouth to mine once more, his hands moving more excitedly than before but making less attempts to cross the invisible line around my hip bones. My mind was split between places- between his current ministrations, which were quite nice actually, and his previous statement.

Was I weird? Did other girls go further than I was going? Did Amos just restrain his desire to go further with me? Was it impatience that drove him to break it off? Did SHE go faster? My mind was spinning in too many directions. I pushed my eyes closed harder and tried to clear my mind of everything except Chris. It wasn't too hard but every once in a while, my mind strayed to the green robe beside me. It really was a lovely robe. I found myself wishing I had kept it on. There had to have been some stain resistant charm on it at the price Potter paid for it and I was getting slightly cold despite Chris's body heat. Eventually I let my eyes open as we pulled apart and I noticed how dark out it was.

"What's the time?" I mumbled against his lips.

"Nine," he said, checking his watch.

"Want to go for a walk?"

Nodding, he helped me to my feet then wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me flush to his side. He walked for a few minutes, going wherever our feet took us until Chris stopped suddenly.

"You're something you know?"

I looked at him inquisitively. "What do you mean?"

"Smart, driven, beautiful," I blushed, thankful for the cover of the night, "opinionated, fiery, and moral."

"What's something though?"

"You're only 17!"

I rolled my eyes, "We went over that last time."

He sighed heavily and settled on a bench. "I'm two years older than you and I'm half as focused as you, have half the morals. It's incredible."

I put my head on his shoulder. "You could be focused if you wanted to. What happened to adventure?"

"I think you're right," he said. I smiled. He would learn soon enough that I am always right. "Eventually, the adventure will need to end and real life will need to start. I applied for this graduate school a few months ago. I really want to go but I haven't gotten a response. I just don't know what to do. And what am I going to do when the time for reality comes? I haven't even thought about it until now."

"Well, what do you love?" I asked him, wrapping my new robe tighter around me. He threw his arm around my shoulders and slowly rubbed up and down.

I could feel him smile rather than see it as the muscles in his mouth moved against the crown of my head. "I don't really know. I guess that's what I've been looking for."

I leaned up and turned my body to look at him seriously in the eyes. His arm was still around me. "I could help you, that is, if you want the help."

He didn't answer with words, instead just pulled me to him, pressing his mouth firmly upon mine once more, making me thankful for being seated. He shifted me so I sat in his lap and we kissed for a while before I pulled away. "I guess that's a yes."

He laughed. This guy confused the hell out of me. One moment he was like an old friend, then he turned into a horny pig and the next moment he was a very genuine guy who was taking my breath away. That was what had brought me to Hogsmeade: my desire to know him, the real thing.

"So do you want to head back to my place?" He said lifting an eyebrow. The pig was back.

"I'm meeting friends to head back at 10. And you know nothing will happen at your place that didn't happen in the grass."

He looked at me for a moment, then looked down at his watch. "Well it's 15 to 10 now. Where are you meeting?"

"The shack."

"Weird place to meet, especially at night. You hear some creepy things from that house. Some say it's haunted with restless spirits."

I laughed, "I know the stories. I have been going to Hogwarts for 6 years now."

"Well if you don't want to keep your friends waiting, you oughta head off."

"The gentlemanly thing would be to escort me there." I teased.

"Well my place is 10 minutes in the opposite direction so…" I looked at him in shock.

"Ok, bye." I stood and started walking away when he grabbed my hand and pulled me to him. He brought me in for a kiss but I kept away. "You're infuriating." And with that, I let him give me a swift kiss.

"When can you come back?"

"I'm not sure," I said honestly.

"Not sure when you can or if you want to?" I looked up, way up, into his eyes. "I promise next time I'll know how to conjure a lily."

I let a giggle escape and started to walk away. He grabbed my hand once more but instead of stopping me, he walked with me. "Are you walking me now?" I asked flirtatiously.

"Maybe I've decided to be a gentleman. Improve my chances of you coming out again." He smiled at me in his quirky way and I smiled back.

"It can't hurt." We walked in silence for a few minutes before I burst. "Is this ever going to be more than making out?"

His eyebrows rose. "Well, it could have been today but somebody…."

"I mean are you ever going to ask me to be your girlfriend?" I interrupted. I could see the shrieking shack now and decided that was a better option to look at than my shoelaces or his face.

"I'm not sure," he answered honestly. Sighing he continued, "Why do you care so much about the title anyway?"

"Morals," I responded simply, my eyes still trained on my destination. I only looked away when I noticed that his hand was no longer in mine. I looked behind me to where Chris was standing, looking uncomfortable. "What?"

"Your friends are guys?" I looked over my shoulder to see 3 of the boys leaning up against the fence. From this distance, I could tell either James or Sirius was missing since one of the tallest forms was absent.

"Yeah." I said turning back to Chris.

"Was one of them the mate that bought you this?" He fingered my robe. I nodded. His eyes narrowed. "I think you can go the rest of the way alone. I don't think I'd be welcome amongst your friends."

"Are you afraid?" I teased.

"Hell no!" he said smiling, "Just being nice. But just to make things nice and clear to everyone…." With that he pulled me flush to him, pulling me into a very passionate embrace. I put my hands on his chest and pushed softly against him, pulling myself semi-gracefully from his embrace.

"Goodnight." I said, heading towards the boys.

"Night." He said already walking the other way.

I reached the boys and saw that Sirius was missing. Noticing this I asked the boys where he was. A moment passed quietly before Remus answered. "It's 9:58. He'll be here in 3 minutes. He is always exactly 1 minute late."

With that, I joined the boys leaning against the fence, taking a place between Remus and James, James long lean form standing tense beside me. It was an uncomfortable silence, tense. Remus was obviously a little tiffed with me, Peter was obviously oblivious, and James seemed to fighting his own personal internal battle. Exactly 3 minutes, as promised, Sirius arrived looking disheveled.

"Yeah, they definitely don't make them like that at Hogwarts." Peter laughed but everyone else remained silent. Noticing the atmosphere, Sirius didn't object when James started dragging him off towards town.

I followed, keeping in step with Remus in the back, Peter in the middle. "Sorry," I muttered quietly. "I didn't mean for that to happen."

Remus sighed deeply. I could almost hear the air whistling through his lungs. "You know I'm not the person you should be saying that to." I looked down. "But I know it's probably easier to apologize to me because you're giving me the perfect opportunity to say I told you so."

I looked up to see his brilliantly white teeth smiling at me. I smacked his arm. "Shut it!" He laughed jovially and the rest of the walk back to the castle was a lot more comfortable now that I was on better terms with Remus.

He explained that originally it was just going to be James and Sirius bringing me but Remus stepped up knowing James would go mad or start stalking me on my date if he didn't have someone to keep him sane. Peter came because no way was he staying behind without his friends.

The walk back to the castle was quick, once again through the mirror, having sneaked through the back door of the robes shop. Somehow Peter had picked the lock. Once back in the common room, on instinct I went to my normal couch. I heard the boys heading up the steps and let myself become absorbed in the flames. I sat there for a few minutes mesmerized as I always became.

"Lily."

I turned around quickly, having been completely unaware that only 3 boys had gone up the stairs. He just stood by an abandoned armchair, playing with a fraying thread of the upholstery. His face looked hard and determined.

"Yes James?" I rose from my place. I felt my new robe swirl around me. I pulled it tighter.

His face softened, as did the determined look.

"You looked beautiful today." He said, looking intently at the thread.

I stepped around the couch and faced him. "Is that what you were going to say?" I hoped he wouldn't act as Snape had.

He smiled at the thread and looked up at me, his smile genuine but his eyes sad. "No, but it's what I'm going to say for now." He turned away and walked to the boys' staircase. I followed at a slower pace. He turned at the first step. "I just…" he stopped upon seeing me so close to him. He told me in later years that the sight of me had almost torn his heart in two. My eyes wide with curiosity, the robe billowing slightly behind me due to a draft from a near by window. My hair glowed in the firelight and my skin shown out milky white. "I just don't blame him." He turned.

"For?" my curiosity called out, my real voice calling out as well.

He turned to face me once more. That was when my heart broke. His face held such devastation, that which had been hiding, or trying to hold back. "For… Lily, I'm sorry but I don't think I can say right now. I don't blame him for anything. Get some sleep."

"Good night James." I called after him before turning to my own staircase and following his instructions. It was so cold that night I slept in my new robe, which I found was becoming some sort of a safety blanket to me. I curled up in my robe and blankets and fell into a sleep filled with dancing mirrors, flying golden and green dragons, and whistling dwarfs.

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Hey all!

I got hit with inspiration to finish this chapter suddenly. It's nice and long and could have been probably been cut into 3 parts but I didn't feel like stopping. I hope you enjoy it! I'm trying to capture the main things about Chris that made that relationship what it was. He is not an asshole… but he does enjoy sex. I changed his life a bit and he even has thanked me for it. We're still friends so it's odd to write this. Once again, no James in sight so still just my fantasies there!

Hope you enjoyed this!

Melissa Z

P.S. PLEASE REVIEW!!!! CRITIC!!!! ETC!!!!!


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